The Binding of Rolf
by The Blow Archives
Summary: Life was simple for the Son of a Shepherd; wake up, take care of the animals, eat, wash nana's backside, and sleep, rinse-and-repeat. However, everything came spiraling down once Rolf made a horrific discovery...
1. Prologue - Rolf's Shack

Our story starts off simply, Rolf is sleeping in his shack with his animals, a pastime he often takes part in as the son of a shepherd is expected to. Rolf's parents come into the shack and ask him if he's going to milk the cows, and Rolf looks up at them his eyes watering. Rolf's parents are shocked!

"Why do your eyes make like the leaky well?" Rolf's father asks in broken English, kneeling beside him, "You know that this solves nothing, Rolfy. Tell us what's the problem." Rolf reluctantly looked up into his father's eyes. In a fluid motion, Rolf pressed his father's lips against his own (Kissing the parents on the lips is more common in Rolf's old country!).

"I'm sorry father, I should be banished from this yard for the sins I've committed today…"

Rolf's father looked at him again, puzzled, "Rolf, why do you speak in such a way?"

"Father, I have done something that cannot be forgiven," he sweeped the hay off the ground to reveal the grotesque corpse of a chicken, which lay in a pool of blood and tears. Its head poked out of a small puddle nearby.

Rolf's father was taken aback at the gruesome sight, his lips pressing together to form a tight grimace. However, he quickly composed himself. "Rolf, please tell us what happened, put an end to this madness."

Rolf felt shame in what had become of his father's prized cock. "Father, this is the work of one of the Ed boys, I know it… I was asleep and they always pull this type of mischief. If only I had heard Bridget's screams, I could have perhaps spared her the pain. I have no right to the title of 'Son of a Shepherd'..."

Rolf's father stood up and picked up what remained of Bridget. "Rolf, you find this poacher, and I will take care of the rest." As Rolf's parents exited the room, Rolf could see his father begin to tear up for the first time in his life, and he soon furiously followed. His angered footsteps soon began to shake the cul-de-sac as he made his way to his first destination.


	2. Chapter 1 - Ed's House

Rolf approached Ed's front door, fuming with anger. _Surely he's the most likely Ed to have committed such a crime, he was always jealous of my chickens._ Rolf thought to himself. _Such a disgusting lummox needs to be taught never to step foot on our property again._ Rolf slides open a nearby window and steps inside.

"SARAH! NO IT WASN'T ME" he hears Ed scream, The decibel level of his shouts make Rolf wince in pain. "I DIDN'T TAKE YOUR DOLLY!" Rolf dives behind the curtains as Ed and his baby sister race into the kitchen and back up the stairs.

"If you don't give me my dolly back! I'll tell mom!" Ed immediately froze, stiff as a board. Sarah tackled him and the two rolled down the stairs and onto the ground. _Now was my chance!_ Rolf pounced from behind the curtain and landed on the two, Sarah was forced out of the fight that followed and Rolf put Ed in a chokehold.

"Ed! What'd you do to Rolf?!" Sarah yelled.

"I DIDN'T DO NOTHING SARAH, HONEST!" Ed circled around the room with Rolf still gripping his long neck. Finally his brain began to suffocate and Ed fell to the ground. Rolf did not loosen his grip.

"Ed boy…" Rolf stared directly into the tall boy's eyes, "Why did you kill my father's cock?!"

Sarah blushed at Rolf's unintended innuendo (since Rolf did not speak English very well). "What do you mean, Rolf?" She stuttered, her cheeks beginning to turn pink.

"The long necked Ed boy has committed murder!" Rolf screamed. "Bridget is dead at the hands of the yellow one!" Rolf began to throw punches at Ed's face as they both cried, one in pain, and the other in an even deeper pain (emotional).

"STOP IT ROLF I DID NOTHING REALLY ROLF I WAS ASLEEP ALL NIGHT TRUST ME SARAH WILL TELL YOU THE SAME!"

"He's telling the truth." Sarah admitted, "He's grounded, and he has never left the house while grounded."

Rolf quickly dismounted Ed. "I am sorry Ed boy, my wrath has gotten the better of me, I should have assumed you'd be in trouble. (Rolf disapproves of Western parenting techniques.)

Rolf turned to leave while Sarah began to comfort her brother who still laid on the floor weeping and bleeding silently. "Don't worry… you'll be alright…"


	3. Chapter 2 - Edd's House

Rolf made his way to Double D's house, the longer the Ed who murdered Bridget remain unpunished, the angrier Rolf grew. Rolf began to climb up the walls, chipping bricks as he tore his fingertips through the cement. Once on the roof, Rolf tears through the tiles of the roof with his bare teeth, slowly gnawing his way into the attic. Once inside, he listens through the ceiling of the second floor closely for any signs of the sock headed Ed, his senses so fueled with vengeance that he could sense a heartbeat.

Directly below him, Rolf hears the clicking of Double D's trusty typewriter, and he prepares the attack. Channeling the inner strength only a shepherd can possess, Rolf leaps up in the air, and quickly smashes down into the foundation, snapping the supports of the ceiling and crushing Edd's favorite typing apparatus.

"ROLF!?" Double D screams in a fit of confusion and terror, "What on Earth has gotten into you? Why are you in my house? What have you done to my work?!"

Rolf, hunched over in the middle of Edd's room, slowly began to turn his head towards Double D. Upon meeting Double D's horrified expression, Rolf was overwhelmed with a blind fury and began thrashing around the room, destroying anything he came into contact with. Books, electronics, sex toys were being torn to shreds. He had seen the murderer behind the seemingly innocent face. It made so much sense, Edd had such an interest in the life of animals and plants, it was only natural the scientist would have just as much interest in death. Rolf did not understand Double D, but he knew that there was nothing he treasured more than his research.

Double D was now cowering in the corner of his bedroom, crying and covering his eyes. Once destroying Double D's final possession, the shepherd lunged at Edd, his hands beginning to close around his trachea.

"Sock-headed Ed boy, surely you will take this warning to never intrude on the son of a shepherd's property nor assault his family ever again. I'm sure you more than anyone can understand such a suggestion."

Double D could not muster up any words, instead he lay there in shell shock looking up at Rolf for any hint of mercy. Rolf tossed him aside and began to collect loose research papers, throwing them into a pile of burning electronics that laid in the center of the room. As a final insult, Rolf ripped the hat off Double D's head and threw it into the bonfire. Rolf started to slowly exit, until he heard Double D struggling to say something to him

"R-R-Rolf… I ha-have absolutely n-no idea what y-you… absolutely no idea what you're talking about…" Rolf walked back to Edd and grabbed him by the collar.

"Do you wish to insult me? You claim to not know of which atrocity occurred last night?"

"What?!"

"YOU CONFUSE ME BIG HEADED ED BOY, DO YOU OR DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT HAS BECOME OF MY BRIDGET?"

"I-I don't know what you're ta-talking about."

"LAST NIGHT YOU INVADE MY PROPERTY AND MURDER MY CHICKEN, NO?"

"N-no? I have been working on a school project all night."

Upon hearing this, Rolf drops him to the ground. _Father, I have once again proven that I do not deserve to inherit the great life you provided for me…_

"Ed boy, I apologize for what has become of your room, however you are not guiltless in the actions of your friend, nor in the actions of your strange Western ways." Before Edd could make sense of what he said, Rolf took Double D's lips with his. "I'm sorry."

As Rolf furiously charged out of the house, Double D sobbed, painfully digging through the burning cinders of what remained of his work and his headwear.


	4. Chapter 3 - Eddy's House

Rolf arrived outside Eddy's bedroom door, his heated gaze could melt the glass window at this point. _For Bridget this is what it has come to._ With no hesitation, Rolf kicked down Eddy's door, and stormed into his room. Eddy poked his head out of his bathroom door.

"Hey farmboy! You're paying for that!"

Rolf stared at Eddy processing all the hatred he had for this murderer. Eddy stared back dumbfounded.

"Shouldn't you be counting chickens or something?"

At this, Rolf charged at Eddy tackling him and slamming him against the porcelain tub.

"Hey! Get off me, I didn't do it!"

Rolf took multiple shots at Eddy's neck and chest, then lifted him up and heaved him towards the sink. Eddy landed on the floor, hitting his head against the sink, and desperately reached for any sharp utensils, however felt no such luck. As he scrambled to regain his balance, Rolf kicked him in the stomach and he fell back down on his chest.

"Dimwitted Ed boy, you will confess to the murder of Bridget or you will taste my boot more."

"Bridget? I don't know a Bridget."

Rolf kicked Eddy once again in the side of the ribs.

"Enough delay, Rolf does not lie in his threats. Rolf is never wrong three times stubborn Ed."

"Rolf, I think you need to recount your eggs…"

"Eggs have no place here, I've had enough of your nonsense."

Rolf dragged Eddy into his room and placed him against the wall. Rolf then put Eddy's record player on the ground and threateningly raised his foot above it.

"OK, OK I DID IT! LISTEN HEAR ME OUT!" Eddy screamed.

Rolf stared deep into Eddy's eyes.

"Listen, that weird kid, what's his name… Jimmy! Jimmy gave me $10, said he needed to send you a message. He said something about an offer that you refused. Said that it was the only way to get back at you, the only way you'd understand! It was just a stupid chicken Rolf, I tried to get my buddies in on it but knowing them they'd both have some sort of problem with it. So I took the money because I needed it, it was just for the money, it was nothing personal Rolf, don't take it personally!"

Eddy crawled over to his closet and opened it, revealing a collection of jawbreakers. He grabbed one and placed it in his mouth.

"Sho buddy, let'sh make a deal. How bout half and half? You know what, since I know you pershonally you can have shixty pershent!"

Rolf continued to stare at Eddy in total disgust.

"Let'sh shay twenty-five - sheventy-five then?" Eddy quacked nervously.

Rolf took a step towards him, and in one fell swoop, stomped Eddy's head into the ground. A resounding crack filled the room. The jawbreaker floats out of Eddy's mouth in a river of blood and teeth.

Eddy's screams fill the cul-de-sac as Rolf exits, his eyes set on a new target. Rolf takes one last look at Eddy frantically trying to scoop his teeth back into his mouth.

"If I were you I'd lay off the jawbreakers for a while short Ed boy, I hear they rot the teeth."


	5. Chapter 4 - Redemption

Rolf wasted no time, once outside he beelined for the pale child's house. With every step he took, the muffled screams of his conscience begged for him to stop this madness and spare the young child, however he did not listen; revenge was well in his sight. As he began to accept this downward spiral into concentrated wrath, the shrieks became less audible, and soon a gentle silence greeted him. He had found himself in a nirvana of hatred.

Rolf approached the front door, and left sanity on the porch. He kicked down the door, a harmonious silence followed. Step by step he made his way to Jimmy's room: up the stairs, down the hall, and through the door. What he found was Sarah standing at the bedside where Jimmy laid, staring at the ceiling. Sarah looked up at Rolf shocked and begins to raise her fist, but is quickly knocked down by the blue-haired giant. Jimmy is picked up by the brace ring but does not fight back. Instead, he goes limp and only barely makes eye contact. Rolf heaves Jimmy into his wheelchair, which skids backward, knocking his head into the window, shattering it. Sarah is struggling to regain balance and is visibly yelling something at Rolf but he cannot make out the words. Rolf lunges at Jimmy once again, propping the child's neck only inches above a stiff shard of glass.

The sensation of hearing slowly returns to Rolf. Sarah begins to charge at Rolf.

"Sarah, stop! Just leave us to ourselves, please." Jimmy wheezes.

Sarah stopped her charge, looking back and forth between the two other occupants of the room. "Are you sure? I've seen what Rolf has done to my brother… I don't-"

"I'll be fine Sarah, don't worry." Jimmy gave her a toothy grin before returning his attention back onto the shepherd. Sarah reluctantly left the room tears brimming from her eyes, only one thought occupied her mind.

 _Jimmy… you liar..._

"So Rolf…" Jimmy rasped, his voice strained from his tired lungs. "...how nice of you to visit… what brings you here?" Rolf landed a swift punch to the side of the boy's head, pacifying him.

"The only answered questions will be mine!" Rolf yelled into his ears pressing the broken shard of glass slightly deeper into Jimmy's neck. "Your lackey tells me you're responsible for what happened to my Bridget, is this true?"

Jimmy smiled, "I guess you took care of him then… Not exactly the most loyal partner."

"… "

"Anyways to answer your question, what Eddy said was true. Do you wish to hear me before you do what comes natural?" Jimmy gave out throaty chuckle, proceeding to enter into a coughing fit.

"I came here for one thing, not your excuses." Rolf begins to poke the glass shard into Jimmy's neck, "Nothing could make up for the shame you've brought me."

"I have no excuses…" Jimmy lets out a whooping cough, "... only reasons."

"You intrigue me, Rolf is listening, but his patience proves slim. Eddy mentioned an offer you gave me, what was he talking about?"

"Heh-heh, heh... " Jimmy clears his throat, "Don't act like you don't remember..."

Rolf stares at Jimmy blankly.

"Fair enough, allow me to refresh your memory… think back two years… before my illness had gotten to this state… I made you an offer… Call it a "Scam" if you will… Heh-heh *cough* *cough* … … … Ring any bells?"

Rolf's eyes widened.

"There you go… knew it'd come to you… maybe you don't remember the specifics, but I do… I wanted to make a sorta business with you, perhaps even an empire…" Jimmy pauses to clear his throat. "Simple deal, you supply the dairy, I'd turn it to ice cream… the ultimate scam…"

Rolf shook Jimmy.

"Say nothing more, I implore you! It was a decision I am not proud of but stand firmly by!"

Jimmy laughed more, "Stand firmly by? Rolf, the decision would have benefited us both… When I proposed it to you, you called it "charity work," and refused to hear any more of it!"

Rolf loosens his grip on Jimmy's neck, staring blankly, lost in thought.

Jimmy continued:

"Seriously? "CHARITY WORK"? Is that what you call it? … This "charity work" would've milked everyone for their money, gotten you your own farm, and kept me ALIVE! … You honestly believed it was "CHARITY WORK" to help me raise money for my own treatment which you KNEW my parents couldn't afford?! … YOU KNEW how much I wanted to live, YOU KNEW my business plan would work, but YOU KNEW you wanted to make it through life alone, because of fucking family traditions?" Jimmy enters a long coughing fit.

"..."

Rolf begins to speak-

"DON'T YOU DARE INTERRUPT ME AFTER WHAT YOU'VE DONE! *cough* *cough* *cough* Do you really think you're the one that's owed an apology because of a dead chicken? Are you really so vain that the life of a neighbor matters less to you?"

Rolf regained his grip on Jimmy's neck.

"If this is what this was about, why would the death of a chicken make us even?" Rolf sputtered.

Jimmy began laughing hysterically, "That's what you think made us even? … Have you less a brain than I thought?" Jimmy continues laughing,

"Rolf will feel no guilt when justice is served!" Rolf slams Jimmy's neck on the glass and then launches him and the wheelchair out the window. The wheels could be heard scraping down the tiles of the roof, leading up to a brief silence followed by a crash.

Rolf looked out the window to see the twisted body of Jimmy looking back up at him, his eyes devoid of life. Rolf breathed deeply just moments before there was a knock on the bedroom door.

Jonny entered the room, carrying a large box which blocks his vision.

"Jimmy! We did it! First hundred we've made in our life! Plank couldn't believe you were paying so much for such an easy job, but I told him not to argue with your price!"

Jonny set the box on the floor and looked at the mess surrounding Rolf. Jonny quickly bent over and picked up a piece of wood, soaked in blood. He began stepping back against the wall, holding the board straight out in front of him.

"Rolf, honest it wasn't my idea. Plank was the one who wanted to do it, he's a madman I'll tell ya." Jonny pleaded.

"Wait, if Eddy was not the one who killed Bridget…"

"What? Who?"

"Eddy?"

"No the other one."

"Bridget?"

"Who's that?"

"My chicken…"

"Which one?"

"THE ONE THAT LAYS IN MY SHACK, DEAD!"

"... Which one?"

Rolf froze for a brief moment and then fiercely opened the box Jonny had brought in.

"My god… what have you done…"

In the box there laid the heads of every chicken Rolf owned. A deathly silence filled the room.

"Rolf, if it makes you feel any better, I only killed the chickens… Nothing else…"

"You mean… Victor, Wilfred, Beatrice… Bobo? They all live?"

"I mean I didn't kill them, Plank did! He was a madman Rolf you should've seen it! I've never seen anyone so cold blooded!" Jonny begins laughing, clearly unaware of the volume of what he has done.

"Hey, is that Double D's house on fire?" Jonny babbled curiously.

Rolf left the crime scene, intent on returning to his home to see if what the strange boy had told him was true, and sure enough, upon reaching the shack, he found Jonny's words rang true. Decapitated bodies of his childhood friends lay strewn throughout the room, clearly bludgeoned with such carelessness. Two more boxes laid by the door containing more of what remained of his livestock.


	6. Epilogue - The Binding of Rolf

Rolf did not return to his home that night. Instead, he slept with the animals he had grown up with, learned with, bonded with… He had been molded by this way of life, it was all he knew, however when faced with Western ways, it only betrayed him. Rolf had slept in the shack with his animals many times, for it's a shepherd's duty, protect your livestock from that which they cannot defend themselves.

However, there was a brutal irony in this scene, a false shepherd who had not accomplished his duties now slept with the corpses of the livestock which he had failed. Although, perhaps this was not his intention, it was his outcome. Had he not been blinded by his own selfish desires, he could have recognized the virtues necessary for one in his position.

That morning, Rolf's parents awoke to find that their son had never come home. Worried as one's parents should be, the two made their way to the shed out back, and upon looking inside they found a most horrific sight.

The walls and floor were deeply stained red with blood and flesh, and scattered about the room lay the entrails and arteries of all of the livestock, tossed around throughout the night by a boy suffering panicked night terrors from the shame he has earned himself due to his own carelessness _._ The bodies, the source of these entrails, laid clumsily piled along the sides of the wall, with no ways to express the agony they endured. In the center of the room stood the false shepherd, who now hung from the ceiling. He owned the only face in the room, which only expressed his final moments, and not the obstacles he had championed beforehand. A game he played only to find out he had lost before it started. Now bound by the neck and squeezed from life, Rolf had joined his animals in what would surely be, an awkward family reunion.


End file.
